Adopter is a vile term used by the anti-adoption groups on the internet.  In the UK, that terminology is actually legal terminology.  It is not that I disagree with their terminology or their definition of it.  It is however hard for me to apply it to my life.  I find myself separating my adoptive family from the rest of the adoption community.  I can not define my adoptive parents in that manner especially my adoptive mother.  I am not saying that their definition of adopters does not exist.  It most definitely does.  I believe personally that I would not be one without the other.  I love both sets of parents even though I have not met my "birth family."

An adoptive parent is someone who understands what their adoptee is going through.  They do what they can to support their adoptee and other adoptees in their communities.  Some adoptive parents do work in the international adoption scene.  Others work in the domestic adoption arena.   An adoptive parent fully supports their adoptee in all of their endeavors when it comes to their lives, their adoption, and their rights.

An adopter is someone who thinks that they are entitled to other people’s children.  They tend to believe the mythology of the NCFA's belief on “birthmothers.”  They tend to deny adoption corruption truly exists.  Examples of this entitlement are Madonna, the Taylors, the Needhams, and the Hess’s.  All of these people have fought the “birth families” over their children.  An example of the mythology issue is Heidi Saxton. 

I have noticed more and more adoptive parents fighting back against the adoption industry.  Its those that I am proud to be associated with.  They fight hard against the mythology, they refuse to deny the truth, and they ask questions.  Sadly many of these adoptive parents have been burned in their quest to become parents.  This is one of the reasons why they fight back.  They know that coercion exists.  They see the deception daily.  They do not hide from these issues. 

I do not find fault with adoptive parents who want a child.  They do not seek to save a child.  They just want to be parents.  I do not find fault with infertility.  It happens.  Its one of life’s quirks.  It is okay.  Where they and I find fault is with the adoption industry and its lobbyist, NCFA. 

The industry markets itself to both “birthmothers” and adoptive parents in a very unique way.  It targets the most vulnerable side of all of us.  It targes our sexuality.  It targets the core of what makes us women and families.  If a woman is too fertile, she is considered less than.  It is her fault that she can not prevent pregnancies.  If a woman is infertile, she is considered less than.  The core of woman is to be a mother.  It is one of the most natural acts in our lives.  If we fall outside of the norms, the industry (the NCFA) attacks our most vulnerable points.

The point of my blog is to point out these vulnerabilities.  It is to help us develop a wall of protection so that we do not allow them to get to those vulnerable points.  If you are reading here, then you are willing to learn to protect yourself.  It does not matter if you are an adoptee, “birth parent”, or adoptive parent.