What Is a Moral Compass?
What is being moral or better yet ethical? That is something that is often bantered back and forth even in the adoptee community. I have been accused of working with Abrazo Adoption Services by one organization. One can even question the ethics of another popular leader because she has connections with the NCFA. Why do we associate with these organizations? I do it to understand the workings of the adoption industry. I am pretty sure that this other person wants to understand why the NCFA is so dead set against adoptees have the right to access their original birth certificate. We step into the enemy camp to understand things. We both have walked away with a better understanding of what we both need to be doing to change the laws.
I have been thinking a great deal about morality and the role it plays in our society. Since many adoptees were born in an era where our mothers were forced to feel ashamed of having sex with someone that they loved, our morality and the morality of our parents are often called into question. Morality is not just about sex. It is about the business of living. I do not believe that morality can also be just defined by the Bible although it is a good place to start.
What is being moral? Is it just about following laws in this country? Is it just about following what the Bible teaches us? I have long felt that one of the people closest to me had lost his moral compass. One of the things that many of us complain about in adoption is the issue with imagery. It has been a long reported issue that our grandparents were more concerned with the loss of their status in the community than they were with their daughters, now pregnant.
Is that status so important in their lives that they hurt their families? At that time, it was. At this time, it is for that person in my life. The fact that he must look like the perfect whatever has taken over his life. His imagery to the world is more important that his children. I remember a situation where he was more concerned with his image than he was the image and honor of his child. He did not want to look like the bad guy in the situation. I became the bad guy by defending the honor and integrity of both of them. He has now been doing things that I would have never thought him capable of.
I know for me that it is important that my daughters know that I am there for them even if they do wrong. It is important to me that my daughters know that I will defend them with every ounce in my body if they have been wronged. It is important to me that my daughters know that my self image is not so important that I would sacrifice them in the process. It is important for me that my daughters know that I will remove them from any dangerous or unhealthy situation. Just as I need to trust them, I want them to trust me. I do not put others ahead of my daughters. If they are sick and need me, they know that I will come and comfort them. This is all part of the morality that I live by. My priorities in my life are God and my daughters. What is your priority list?
Morality - and Ethics - are such complicated issues that scholars have written books since the days of the Sophists. Protagora was one of these - he was predecessor to Socrates and, of course Plato. They all had their idea of what Ethics/Morality were all about. The Bible also spells out how to deal with issues of Ethics and Morality, and I believe you are exactly on target when you use the Bible as your standard. It was good then, it's still just as relevant today! Keep your faith and guard/protect your daughters...there is nothing stronger than a REAL family unit!
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hey Amy I have been thinking about you. My phone died permanently and I don't have your number. Can you call me?
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I just called you.
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