For those that are interesting in adoptee rights and civil disobedience.  Please read and attend the Adoptee Rights Demonstration .  Also read Musing Mother's  latest article .  This issue is one of utmost importance to every adoptee and their families, both birth and adoptive. 

I have been looking back on things.  Sunday is usually my day to reflect.  It is also my day for church. The last year or so I have been through a living nightmarish hell.  Finding peace with God has been the saving grace of my life.  Its been difficult for me to reconcile who I am as an adoptee, a woman, a mother, and a worker with what the Bible says.  Thanks to my Church, Evangel Temple, a special friend, and the Bible, I am learning to define myself differently.    I am looking at the Bible differently too.  I look at it as a living thing.  It can be applied to our daily life situations.

Divorce Care has been one of those saving graces.  It set me upon a path of healing.  It helped me to learn to accept my new life.  One of the emails that I got yesterday explained somethings for me. 

"What helped me get through those lonely days was knowing that God does love me, that He does have a plan for me, and that His plan is for my good," says Selma.

Your daily life is different now. You no longer have the security and comfort of your old routine and of knowing where you belong. The new lifestyle may feel awkward and uncomfortable. This contributes to your loneliness.

Warren Kniskern says, "This is a time to depend upon God like never before. Place your cares and anxieties on Him because He cares for you. He knows the struggles you're going through. Don't lose hope in terms of getting on with your life. There is life after this tragedy."

Your new lifestyle is unfortunately one that you did not choose to be in. But now that you are here, you do have a say as to how you will respond to your new circumstances. Every moment, you are faced with the choice of how you will act and react to the thoughts in your mind and to the situations that occur.

Anyone who has a relationship with Jesus Christ has available to him or her the wisdom and the strength to make right choices through the Holy Spirit.

I find myself relying on Him more and more each day.  Some people think that I have flipped my lid when I say that God does exist.  God does heal.   I have seen it first hand.  There were times when I thought for certain that I would fail.  I was doomed.  God pulled through for me at the last minute.  Maybe I should say when I needed it.   When he thought I needed it. 

I spent the last three months working a job which I never thought that I could do or would want to do.  Its not easy lifting a sixty eight pound ladder day in and day out.  It is scary climbing a ladder that is swaying in the wind while resting on a strand of wire.   Its not easy walking into a stranger's home and installing that cable because you don't know what you are going to get into.  Its getting better though.  It is becoming a second nature thing for me.  I have only been able to do it with the grace of God in my life.