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MLK Day

Amy Adoptee — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:01:55 GMT

Today is dedicated to Martin Luther King. I think about how much this man helped change our future, not just for African Americans but for all. For me it is a day of action. This man changed equality in so many ways. He did it peacefully. My favorite quote is "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." I used that initially after my divorce. It took everything that I had to take that first step. I wasn't capable of having that blind faith back then. It meant my being humbled.

I remember when I needed help. Falls United Methodist Church was the one that helped me the most. My own church didn't help me at all except for later when I used the food bank. Falls United Methodist Church was directly behind Texas Nightlives. A bar that my ex husband frequented with his new girlfriend, now wife. A bar that he took our oldest daughter to on July 3, 2010 which was my weekend to have visitation. In order to receive that help, I had to submit to God in a way that my pride kicked in and fought me on. I learned what it meant to be submissive to our God that day. This church and bar share a parking lot. The very place that sin occurs daily is the very place that I receive a huge blessing. It was Martin Luther King that helped me take that first blind step. He was the first to show me what Love is and what its power holds for me. He taught me to take ownership of my feelings, my thoughts, and my actions. It should be said that he showed me the way to better things.

Looking back at that time in my life, I realized that my ex was ticked that I left. Yes that is my sin against my ex even though I felt that I was justified. My ex is the type of man that wants to punish and humiliate women in general. I wouldn't say that he is a "sexist" because he likes it when the rights of women goes his way. I have realized that his intent was to throw me out of the house, keep our girls from me, and to disgrace and humiliate me. I foiled that attempt. He still to this day continues in that thinking. He doesn't realize that I can no longer be humiliated. I refuse to bow down to him as he is not my God.

It took me several months to heal from my situation. I can say without a doubt that I am not there yet. I am getting there. The biggest step for me was forgiving him. I forgave him not for his sake but for mine. I had to choose between life or death as defined by God. I chose life in God's eyes. It is vitally important to my girls that I have healed. It shows them the path of healing and love in an area filled with so much darkness. If they see that glimmer of light shining down on them, they will seek it and fill their hearts with love and lightness. I pray daily for all of them to be shown lightness and blessings.

The Blame Game

Amy Adoptee — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 02:43:45 GMT

I enjoy discussing the Bible. My boyfriend has a chronological bible. In Genesis, I was reading how God created mankind. When I was in high school, a friend, Elliott, made a comment on creationism vs science (the Big Band theory). How do we know what God's time is? Truth is we don't. We don't know if God's day was 24 hours or a thousand years.

When I was studying Anatomy and Physiology this past semester, I was amazed at how similar the human neuron is to the universe. This is a neuron image down below. It is so similar to the image of the universe. How can God not be involved?

Here is an image of the universe.

I see the similarity in other things too. Look at a cross section of the human bone. It is similar to that of a cross section of a tree. For me, God exists. For me, God has saved me from the darkness. I believe that parents are responsible for raising their children in God. I believe our schools are to teach us Mathematics, Science, English, Language skills, and other subjects. If I can at the age of 17 figure out the connection of God and science, then so can our children. They are not dumb. I do not believe that our state and federal legislators should legislate our beliefs to us.

This is also about the blame game. Where did it start? It started in the beginning verses of the Bible. It is often termed original sin.

In this version of Genesis:

But for Adam^[f] no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs^[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib^[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
²³ The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called ‘woman,’

for she was taken out of man.”

²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

²⁵ Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

This is why Divorce is so painful to people. We are tearing the flesh. The other part of Genesis that shows the blame game is the following. Notice how Adam blames both God and the woman. Notice how the woman blames the serpent:

⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
¹⁰ He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
¹¹ And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
¹² The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
¹³ Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

¹⁴ So the LORD God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,

Original sin is man's natural tendency to blame everyone else but ourselves for our problems. Funny how God has tried for centuries to tell us that since we are of free will, we keep choosing our problems and we blame others. Until we are honest with ourselves and our loved ones, we will continue to blame one another.

In Support of Walgreens

Amy Adoptee — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:31:53 GMT

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Walgreens for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

As a veteran, I have to get my prescriptions filled through the VA system. It always requires a long wait. I am often at the VA for hours. This is just the standard prescription. With my Accutane prescription, I have to go to the Research Pharmacy. The lady that runs that pharmacy is awesome and great. Don't get me wrong. The Houston VA pharmacy has great techs working there. I love interacting with them.

Prior to using the VA system, I had a job with Time Warner that allowed me to use pharmacies such as Walgreens. I like them more than any others. Their prescription prices are better than even Walmart. I like them because I can speak with their pharmacists directly. Recently Walgreens and Express Scripts had a contract that expired on January 1, 2012. This gave many people to get better prices on their prescriptions, allowing more people to use their savings towards necessary items. You can still use the Prescription Savings Club at Walgreens

Tricare which is a health care program for military families. Tricare is part of the Express Scripts program. Many families have to find other pharmacies instead of Walgreens which is virtually everywhere. Walgreens is committed to lowering the cost of medication for patients. Other pharmacies often have higher prices. Walgreens' pharmacists provide a special service in that they help patients understand their medication, what they interact with, and help patients make the best decisions over their healthcare. Many military families are losing this valuable service.

Express Scripts wanted to control all of the content in the new contract. Walgreens did not want to increase prices. They wanted to keep the prices level and flat so that Americans can keep more of their income to be able to purchase mandatory necessities in life. Express Scripts wanted to control over the definition of what drug is a generic and brand name. T

I am now following Walgreens on Twitter and Walgreens on Facebook. I recommend other customers to do the same. I fully support this campaign of Walgreens.

Texas New Sonogram Offensive

Amy Adoptee — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:11:55 GMT

I need to explain that I am anti abortion and anti adoption. I feel both do not promote a responsibility to one's offspring. Children are the future of our country. These two issues promote children as being disposable and replaceable.

Texas has a new ultrasound sonogram law that concerns me on a deep level. I don't think that even Planned Parenthood as addressed the very issue that concerns me as a woman, a mother, a daughter, and a human being in general. Normal ultrasound sonograms are usually done at twenty weeks. It is usually done to determine the health and sex of the baby.

Many consider ultrasound sonograms in the respect of this image. The gel on the belly with an imaging tool running across it. However it does not detect the baby under twenty weeks during this method.

However in order to show the ultrasound sonogram images for pregnancies less than 20 weeks (usually eight to ten weeks), women are forced to undergo a vaginal ultrasound sonogram. Here is the image of Texas legislator, Carol Alvarado, D-Houston holding the vaginal wand to be used in these types of sonograms.

Okay seeing that thing frightens me. This procedure is to be enforced upon women and doctors. This will be a procedure that will be used in many Crisis Pregnancy Centers. Some of which are not qualified to perform this type of procedure. Doctors do not man these types of centers. I know as a mother that I would not want this wand being shoved up my daughters' vaginas if they get pregnant. To me this is a form of rape, legally mandated. It requires women to give up their right to privacy and the right to their own medical decisions. It forces doctors to be in a position that is uncomfortable for their patients. Texas has gone too far with this law.

Here is the image in action (Thank you to Burnt Orange for the information). This is a scary image if you think about women in terms of your wife, your daughter, your sister, your mother, your aunt, and your grandmother. They want to mandate this. This is a form of legalized rape by the state of Texas. None of the male Republican representatives and senators were fazed by this at all.

In one news report from Houston, I am even more so given pause for concern. There is discussion of making sure a woman has a fully informed consent with abortion. I quote:

Chief Judge Edith Jones, who authored the opinion, disagreed.

"In attempting to ensure that a woman apprehends the full consequences of her decision, the State furthers the legitimate purpose of reducing the risk that a woman may elect an abortion, only to discover later, with devastating psychological consequences, that her decision was not fully informed," Jones wrote.

They talk about the psychological effects of abortion on women but there is no discussion of the psychological effects of adoption on a birth mother either. In a majority of states, adoptions are still closed to all of the parties of adoption. There is no single state that provides any kind of support of that birth mother or help her maintain contact with her relinquished child. There is actually no decent literature of the effects of adoption on a birth mother.

This is real scary. I worry about all of the women in the state of Texas.

Domestic Violence - How is it defined?

Amy Adoptee — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:35:38 GMT

What is domestic violence? It is legally defined as the following:

The continuing crime and problem of the physical beating of a wife, girlfriend, husband, boyfriend or children, usually by the woman's male partner (although may be female violence against a male). It is now recognized as an anti-social mental illness. Sometimes a woman's dependence, low self-esteem, and fear of leaving cause her to endure this conduct or fail to protect a child. Prosecutors and police often face the problem that a battered woman will not press charges due to fear, intimidation and misplaced "love." Increasingly domestic violence is attracting the sympathetic attention of law enforcement, the courts, and community services, including shelters and protection for those in danger.

I have modified this definition to include men instead of being just on the side of women. I do this because I have had male friends abused at the hands of their girlfriends and wives. I do this because I am now involved with the kindest of men as a boyfriend. He is teaching me what it means to be loved and treated as a treasure instead of a piece of property. In the last blog, I posted the recent statistics involving domestic violence and rape.

Most arrests occur when there is obvious signs of physical abuse. It is much harder to prove emotional, sexual, mental, and verbal abuse. Wikipedia defines these types of abuse as Psychological with the exception of sexual as the following:

As of 1996,^[4] there were "no consensus views about the definition of emotional abuse”. As such, clinicians and researchers have offered sometimes divergent definitions of emotional abuse. However, the widely used Conflict Tactics Scale measures roughly twenty distinct acts of "psychological aggression" in three different categories:

Verbal aggression (e.g., "Your partner has said something to upset/annoy you");
Dominant behaviours (e.g., "Your partner has tried to prevent you from seeing/speaking to your family");
Jealous behaviors (e.g., "Your partner has accused you of maintaining other parallel relations").

The U.S. Department of Justice defines emotionally abusive traits as including causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner's family or friends, destruction of pets and property, forcing isolation from family, friends, or school or work.^[5]

In 1996, Health Canada argued that emotional abuse is motivated by urges for "power and discontrol",^[3] and defines emotional abuse as including rejecting, degrading, terrorizing, isolating, corrupting/exploiting and "denying emotional responsiveness" as characteristic of emotional abuse.

Several studies have argued that, unlike physical and sexual maltreatment, an isolated incident does not constitute emotional abuse. Tomison and Tucci write, "emotional abuse is characterised by a climate or pattern of behaviour(s) occurring over time [...] Thus, 'sustained' and 'repetitive' are the crucial components of any definition of emotional abuse."^[6] Andrew Vachss, an author, attorney and former sex crimes investigator, defines emotional abuse as "the systematic diminishment of another. It may be intentional or subconscious (or both), but it is always a course of conduct, not a single event."^[7]

Subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying.

Symptoms of emotional abuse vary. I found this site that had a series of questions that applied.

Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:

Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?

Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?

Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?

Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?

Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?

Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?

Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?

Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?

Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?

Has your partner ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened pets?

Are you afraid of your partner?

I have highlighted the ones that I have endured during my marriage to my ex husband. He often gaslights things as if they did not exist. Gaslighting is a common occurrence in domestic violence. You can find various articles here, here, here, and here.

I also found this article. One particular quote also stood out for me. My ex used to do this to me all the time.

If someone calls you derogatory names, even if they say they are joking, they mean to hurt you and keep you in line. Abusers sometimes cover themselves by blaming you, saying that you need to lighten up or that you are too sensitive. You are not too sensitive; you are feeling in your gut that this is not the way you should be treated. Abusers have a way of making you think that this is normal behavior and that it is you who has the problem.

I did not know what it was until a few months ago exactly what gaslighting was. Many times the courts ignore this abusive phenomena. I found that courts with their decisions often encourage this type of behavior without realizing how damaging this is to the children that they claim to protect.

Domestic Violence - What qualifies it to be defined as such?

Amy Adoptee — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 17:50:13 GMT

Domestic violence has been a topic that has concerned me for a while. For me, that topic is no longer a real concern personally. My relationship with my boyfriend is solid. Our fights are more about philosophical issues, namely abortion vs adoption. I began researching the topic recently just to see what information is out there because a new CDC study came out last year about sexual violence and domestic violence against women in particular. They included men in their study this time as well. Their findings were the following:

For women:

High rates of sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence were reported by women.
Nearly 1 in 5 women has been raped at some time in her life.
One in 4 women has been a victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in her lifetime.
One in 6 women has experienced stalking victimization during her lifetime in which she felt very fearful or believed that she or someone close to her would be harmed or killed. Much of stalking victimization was facilitated by technology, such as unwanted phone calls and text messages.
Almost 70 percent of female victims experienced some form of intimate partner violence for the first time before the age of 25.
Approximately 80 percent of female victims of rape were first raped before age 25.
Female victims of violence (sexual violence, stalking, intimate partner violence) were significantly more likely to report physical and mental health problems than female non–victims.
Across all forms of violence (sexual violence, stalking, intimate partner violence), the vast majority of victims knew their perpetrator (often an intimate partner or acquaintance and seldom a stranger).

For men:

About 1 in 7 men has experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.
One in 19 men has experienced stalking victimization at some point during their lifetime in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.
Almost 53 percent of male victims experienced some form of intimate partner violence for the first time before age of 25
More than one-quarter of male rape victims were first raped when they were 10 years old or younger.
Male victims of violence (sexual violence, stalking, intimate partner violence) were significantly more likely to report physical and mental health problems than male non-victims.

Children are often in the middle of these disputes. They see these things daily. I understand that men are sometimes victims but a majority of the victims are women. We still have a long standing issue with domestic violence in our country.

Recently President Obama updated the FBI's antiquated definition of rape and this definition also include men which is the following:

The revised FBI definition says that rape is “the penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object,” without the consent of the victim. Also constituting rape under the new definition is “oral penetration by a sex organ of another person” without consent.

The original definition was established in 1929. It took this long to redefine it. President Obama requested for $777 million dollars to address violence against women. Congress only gave $592 million dollars. It is not enough to actually help victims of domestic violence period. It is still happening with way too much occurrence. I know that it happens to men because it happened to a male friend of mine.

I decided to watch the news reports across the country for a week. In this week alone, I found many many stories. In San Francisco, the sheriff is being brought up on domestic violence charges because he left a bruise on his wife. He was re-elected for the position. A county commissioner in Nelsonville has been charged a few times of domestic violence. He was convicted but he still has his job. Even Boxer Mayweather was found guilty of domestic violence charges. This is just the tip of the iceberg. In several pages of google searching, I only found one case of a woman being charged with domestic violence. These are all cases of physical violence. There is no mention of emotional, mental, verbal, and sexual violence. In Houston alone in the last twenty four hours, two stories made the Houston Chronicle news. One story where the ex killed a woman's dog. Another man stands accused of stalking his ex.

I have been a member of fathers' rights groups over many years. I did this to drum up support for birth fathers who have been forced by state laws to relinquish their parental rights against their will. That is an issue that will always be near and dear to my heart. I am a daughter of such a man. They keep the records sealed so that he and I can never find each other. That we can not ever show the vast discrimination that men deal with in when it comes to their children. Recently I came across many of these groups stating that mothers are the ones inflicting abuse on children, not fathers. I stepped back. I know personally that it is not the case. I believe that fathers are just as capable as mothers of raising children. However, men are just as capable if not more so of being domestically violent towards mothers and children. They actually cause more damage than a woman could.

Next, What exactly is the definition of domestic violence?

Saving Money

Amy Adoptee — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:53:54 GMT

Saving money is one of the most important tasks these days of my life. I have to look at so many new ways to save money so that I can move ahead in my world. I can remove the crunch that is often on my boyfriend who supports me in so many ways. My expensive habits are smoking and coffee. I love both. I can't really quit smoking as I am on medication that prohibits me from taking Chantix and Zyban. It is a price that I have to pay in order to get my health on the right track. I have searched high and low to find decent coupons on both to help save money.

I check into various ways of saving money. One is through Savings.com. You can find awesome coupons on various companies. I like shopping at Kohls and Victoria's Secret. Of course I usually shop at their outlet shops. I can't afford a regular bra from Victoria. They range from fifty dollars to over hundred dollars. Forty percent off a bra could come in handy. I may not like their commercials but I do love their bras. They are comfortable and do not cut into my skin. So how do you save money?

Tyler Perry’s For Colored Girls

Amy Adoptee — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:27:16 GMT

I have been a fan of his movies for years. Madea is just totally hysterical and so down to the earth. Three of his movies have deeply affected me. “Why Did I Get Married?” was one of those movies. I cried and cried at one particular character. She was very much like me. It didn’t matter what her color was. I felt her emotions. I felt her pain, her humiliation, her anger, her despair, and her utter shock at how her marriage turned out. Of course, my favorite part is when she hits her husband over the head with a wine bottle.

I bought For Colored Girls a while back at Blockbuster. I had wanted to see it. I knew it was a chick flick but a man could learn a lot from this movie. He could learn the psyche of a woman. It is based on poetry written in a series of 20 poems by Ntozake Shange. The poetry is recited when the women conflict with each other. Sometimes it is lift one another up. Sometimes it is a fight between sisters. Sometimes it is a fight between mother and daughter. The male characters are very different. Some are good and some are bad. There isn’t a consistency. These men are outside the periphery of these women’s lives. Although it is based on the African American's woman experience, women of all colors benefit from the experience of the movie and the Broadway play. Women in general can feel the pain of the characters. Many of us can join in the bonds of womankind as a result. It is ultimately that bond that heals women in general. I can vouch for the healing relationships of women.

The most heart wrenching scene is when a veteran, living with one of the women, tries to force her hand in marrying him by holding their children by their arms outside a fifth story window. His grip is slips and both children fall to their deaths. Another woman is raped by an acquaintance. Another woman has an abortion where she nearly dies from the procedure. The abortionist is NOT a medical professional.

Each story is intertwined with the other. Each story on its own is horrible and crushing in itself. Each woman develops friendship with the others. I did not see the Broadway play. So I cannot make a judgment on how Tyler Perry brought it to the big screen or if it was even transcribed according to the original poet.

I often wonder how Tyler Perry can know the heart of a woman like he does. I have never seen a man reach into the soul of a woman and poetically bring it to life in a movie like he does. A man cannot begin to comprehend the pain that is in a woman’s heart and how she faces that pain with all that is her.

I most definitely give this movie many thumbs up as it is an awesome movie that opened my heart even more. I miss the female bonds that I developed through the years.

Condoms - Saving Grace

Amy Adoptee — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:08:21 GMT

I am blending religion with sex. I woke up reading about a horrible new Texas law forcing women seeking abortions to get a vaginal sonogram. Wow! That alone shocks me. I had never heard of such a thing. Non medical professionals are making laws that affect the very lives of Texas women. It is the insertion of a "want" inside the vaginal area of a woman to get project a picture of a fetus. I am one of those that believes abortion and adoption are bad. They do not promote God's purpose for a woman. A woman is designed to be a mother. Women should not be breeding for other women to have children. It goes against God in so many ways that it blows my mind.

We have so many children in care as it is. We can't even take care of those kids. So many people are promoting agendas to add more children into the adoption mill usually at the expense of the child himself. I personally believe that we need to be practicing more comprehensive sex education. We need to be teaching our teenagers how to use condoms, how their bodies work, and how to protect themselves. Our kids are going to have sex. We can't get around it. I have sat down and spoken with both of my daughters about their bodies and how it functions. I know that I will do it again with my youngest. Diseases are spread so quickly through sex that condoms are just as an important necessity to know and understand how they work.

With the latest crew of Republican thugs, I worry about the reproductive health of my daughters. We have so many of them wanting to eliminate all forms of birth control. I want them to be able to have children of their own. It is vitally important for them to be able to educate themselves, protect themselves, and make decisions over their own bodies.

America's Treatment of Its Veterans

Amy Adoptee — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 01:29:59 GMT

It really ticks me off. We now have many soldiers returning from two wars now. We are in the worst economy ever. Many will not be able to find jobs that help support their families. Many are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Many are having marital problems. They are not getting the health care that they need to have a successful transition into civilian life. Yes it most definitely ticks me off. I am a Desert Storm Veteran. I know from personal experience how badly America treats her veterans.

News from Washington state is enough to make one stop and take a deep breath. Here is a veteran who fought in Iraq. Here is a man whose soul was devoured by military engagement who did not receive any support. He was kicked out of the military for DWI. No help just the boot. Right before Christmas, there was another veteran involved shooting in Minnesota. How many before the military and the Veterans Affairs offices around this country realize that they are not doing enough for our soldiers?

It has been this way for Vietnam veterans. It took them thirty years before they recognized it. Desert Storm vets such as myself have been dealing with the health effects of decisions made by the military and the VA for twenty plus years. I know that my skin disorder, Hidradenitis, has been blamed on everything else but the nerve agent pill, anthrax vaccinations, pesticides, and depleted uranium. I am tired of being blamed for something that was caused by the decisions of the leaders of the United States military.

Is it going to be 20 years plus for returning veterans of Enduring Iraqi Freedom? The VA needs to step up to the plate and care for all veterans. We paid with our lives, our livelihood, and our health. It is time for them to step up and care for all of its veterans.

A Cheater, A Racist, A Mormon, A Pedophile Lover & A Couple of Idiots

Amy Adoptee — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 18:54:54 GMT

Edited to add further information:

The Republican party is sure leaving a lot to be desired these days. It is worse that Dumb & Dumber. In this post, I have mentioned how I vote. I admit that I am looking honestly at other candidates because President Obama keeps selling out women, children, and senior citizens. The opposition is still looking worse.

We have the cheater, Newt Gingrich who loves his aids to a point of marrying two of them. What he did to his first wife is deplorable. He was one of those that was calling Clinton out while doing the very same damn thing himself. I don't like hypocrites. He is one of them. His commentary on the poor makes him a horrible person. He is very much part of the 1%. I am a 99 percenter. He has been crossed off my list.

Mitt Romney, the Mormon and animal abuser, is another one of those that just irritates me. He did not veto a bill that created a tiered effect for adoptees. He is Mormon. He is also a leader in that church. He is one of those that I do hold accountable for all of the wrongs done to adult adoptees and their families under the guise of the Mormon Church including September Dawn. Then I think about his poor dog being tied to the top of a vehicle. He is wanting to veto the Dream Act. Nope sorry, not voting for him either.

Herman Cain sounded interesting until his whore mongering became public news. He dropped from the race. I don't even need to post links on that one.

Michelle Bachman, the first part of Dumb & Dumber, keeps coming with information that is factually incorrect. She is too busy trying to invade the vaginas of American women. It is too late for me to worry about having children but I still like to be able to get the annual pap smear now that I don't have health insurance. I want my daughters and other women and girls to be able to get that as well. This actually applies to most of the Republican candidates. She is too busy also getting on this socialism kick which is ironic considering police departments, fire departments, and schools are part of that. Most definitely a one percenter.

I absolutely cannot vote for Rick Santorum because he nominated Jerry Sandusky for an angel in adoption award. He is one of many that helped cover up the horrible rapes committed by Jerry Sandusky and awarded him for it. As an adoptee, mother, woman, and veteran, that goes against every single fiber and cell in my body. Enough said on that one. I don't mean to contradict you Rick but your past tactics ain't cutting it for me. Another one percenter.

Rick Perry is from Texas. Just because I am a Texan does not mean that we will naturally vote for him again. Even my mother doesn't like him. He is the Dumber in Dumb & Dumber. I have not ever voted for this man. I refuse to vote for this man. He is snake oiled politician who didn't take care of Texas during the worst fire season in its history. He was out politicking in other states while Bastrop and other areas were under massive attack by fires. He also cut back on monies to the volunteer fire departments of Texas by 75%. He has been critical of FEMA but said that he would use their funds to get the financial aid needed to help these communities recover. He has been so sharply critical of the president that we Texans have faced the consequences of his hypocrisy. Here is an interesting story from PolitiFact that shows Perry in his true hypocrisy. Lets not even go into his so called job creation. There is none unless you want a no benefit low paying wage. A 1 percenter to the hilt. He has forgotten his poor roots. He also was democrat at one time. When he went Republican, he asked a democrat to support him. When this democrat refused, Ol' Rick blackballed him from the Texas State Legislature. That was a personal story that I heard from a former aid of that democrat. (Edited to add) He did support the Dream Act which is something that I do support. However Mitt Romney has declared that he will veto if elected president.

The last Texan on the list is Ron Paul. I did my research on him. Of course I didn't like his stance on abortion or women's reproductive health issues. I liked some of his other philosophies. Gays in the military are not a major issue for me either. I have fought alongside with gays. I had no major problems with it. It is not my job to judge gays or anyone else for that matter. However, rumors of racism have surfaced inside his campaign. He is antisemitic and has fanned the flame the many racist groups with his newsletters. He still has not taken responsibility. He also has supporters who believe in the death penalty for gays. He doesn't believe that people have the right to live in a sexual harassment free work environment. Okay he is out the window for me.

Now I look at President Obama. He has only been married once. He has announced his profession of faith but he keeps his practice of his faith quiet, not flamboyant and crude as Rick Perry, Rick Santorum and Michelle Bachman have done. He and his wife are educated. They have two precious daughters that they have kept protected. My only beef with him is that he has given into the Republicans too many times. He has sacrificed too much of the middle and lower classes to get them to work with him. I feel that those candidates that represent the Tea Party members of the Republican party have hurt our country by holding it hostage. Americans are hurting. We should not be bailing out companies but the American people. I would rather have a few extra welfare queens in comparison to the Welfare Corporations. It is just plain cheaper. I would rather my tax dollars go to help the middle class and lower class Americans than to a corporation who is not doing jack shit to help any American but the rich 1%. I want an end to all of the tax breaks that they get while we get taxed higher and higher. They send all of their production plants and call centers overseas.

Another Agency Bites the Dust!

Amy Adoptee — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 20:16:25 GMT

According to a recent news article in the Denver Post, Adoption Alliance is shutting its doors due to recent issues with finances and lack of donations. They can not afford to keep their doors open any longer due to the lack of funds. I am one of those that is glad. This agency is associated with Independent Adoption Center, Gladney Center for Adoption(Ding), Adoption Associates(Adoption Associates(Ding), American Adoptions, Adoptions from the Heart (Ding), Open Door Adoption Agency, Adoption Link, and Open Adoption and Family Services. This agency is accredited by the COA. It was also a member of the JCICS. These folks did foster care adoption, international adoption, and used the previous agencies to facilitate domestic adoptions. Many of the previous agencies have been associated with corruption in other countries. Adoptions from the Heart is associated with corruption in Vietnam and in India with the Preet Mandir debacle. This agency was also designated as an accrediting agency for the state of Colorado.

I am sure that many adoptive parents will say that they did a wonderful job for them. That may be true but they are associated with corrupt agencies. As long as they contribute to the way that the industry wants, changes will not happen. As long as you don't fight for equal rights for adoptees, change will not occur. As long as you ignore the coercive tactics of mothers, you are encouraging the lack of reform.

It is time to make effective changes. It is up to you to help with those changes. We can not lie down when these changes need to occur.

Presidential Election 2012

Amy Adoptee — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 19:17:37 GMT

Okay I was looking over the future presidential election. I admittedly voted for President Obama. I feel that he has gone out of his way to work with the Republicans. However, I feel that he has gone to far on some issues. He was willing to sacrifice too many things. That scares me more than anything. I vote in six main ways. Each have equal weight with me.

I am a woman. I look at each candidate on how they voted for women's issues. Although I am personally against both abortion and adoption, I watch how much they promote adoption as the answer to abortion. If it is too much, they get thrown out the window. Abortion and adoption unfortunately need to be kept legal. There are situations where we as a people can not imagine where a woman is placed in a dangerous situation. I also look at how they view domestic violence. A majority of Republican candidates have already been thrown out the window on that issue alone.

I am a mother. I watch how children are protected or not protected in this society. I watch how presidential candidates treat children.

I was a married woman. I am now in a committed relationship with a man. I look at how these candidates have treated their significant others. Newt has been married way too many times.

I am an adoptee. I look at how these candidates promote adoption as the answer to abortion. If it is too much, they go by the wayside.

I am a worker bee in today's society. I look at how the candidates support worker's rights and issues. I want to know how they feel about wages and benefits.

I do know look at their faith and how they practice it.

As I review many of these issues, I have eliminated Newt because he has profited off many of the American economic crisis. He has also cheated on one of his wives who was ill. He seems to hate children especially impoverished children. Herman Cain is a horn dog. Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman are Mormons and have helped contribute to the horrors of adoption. Mitt in particular as governor voted against giving adoptees access to their documents. Rick Perry and Michelle Bachman are just dumb and use their faith to promote themselves in an unChristian and hypocritical manner. Ron Paul seems like the only responsible candidate for the Republicans. He has not been married fifty million times. I disagree with some of his ideas. I do think we need a universal health program. I think abortion should be decided between a woman, her God, and her doctor.

DNA Testing

Amy Adoptee — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 17:28:47 GMT

I admit. I jumped into the realm of the unknown recently. Admittedly I did not know a great deal about the process of mtDNA testing. I knew what mtDNA testing was. It was testing done on the mitochondria in your cells. The mitochondria is the only organelle in the nucleus of the human cell that retains information on the mother. No father cells allowed in the mitochondria. This type of testing tells you a great deal about your maternal line. This is passed from mother to daughter.

Now I have started small. I want time to process the information slowly. I went with Family Tree DNA because of several reasons. One being is that they are in Houston. Maybe eventually I can work for them in a nursing capacity where I can do research and be involved with adoptee issues without the normal guilt complex. I had also considered a call center position with them. I think in the back of my mind that I remembered from other adoptees that Family TreeDNA was the best.

The reason why I chose this route is that my daughters and their father were discussing genetics a while back and where their line comes from. Ironically his mother and father's marriage is a common one. There are quite a few Don's and Pat's getting married in his lineage which I thought was hysterically funny. I felt it was time that I moved forward in some regards to my own search which I had abandoned years ago.

The reason why I had abandoned my search is because so much of my information was a lie. I felt that I was intentionally lied to by my confidential intermediary, Catrina Carlisle. Many of my search friends thought so as well. Ironically now I have proof of it. I could not find with false information. That is why adoptee records are sealed. Our information is often outright lies.

My results thus far show that I am from the Eve line of V or Velda as described in a book by Bryan Sykes. As I have read further into my lineage, my mother's line went from Greece to Italy and from there, Russia, Finland and Spain. I have the genetic mutation at 16298 C which is where my DNA mutated from T to C.

This is what Family Tree DNA said about my origins thus far:

The mtDNA haplogroup V is believed to have originated around the Western Mediterranean region, approximately 13,600 years before present- possibly on Iberia. It is found with particularly high concentrations in the Saami People of northern Scandinavia, as well as the Basque people (10.4%) and somewhat higher among the isolated Pasiegos in nearby Cantabria. It also is found in particularly high concentrations (16.3%) among the Berbers of Matmata, Tunisia. The highest levels are in Scandinavian and Western and North African populations. It is spread at varying low levels across Europe and smaller portions of West and Central Asia.

Funny thing is that I warned both my daughters and my ex that there might be an African blood lines in me. We all need to be prepared for the possibility of black child in the future. I hope that when my daughters get married, I am able to tell their perspective spouses that this might happen. It doesn't mean that either of my daughters have cheated. It is just a possibility.

No One Has the Right to Adopt

Amy Adoptee — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:15:44 GMT

I am not against a gay couple adopting. However, I do get concerned when gay rights make adoption about their rights. There is no such right for any American. If there is please show me where in the United States Constitution. There is also no right to anonymity either. A woman doesn't even have the right to relinquish her child in total anonymity as seen in both the Tennessee and Oregon cases. You can not apply abortion issues to adoption issues. Abortion is a medical procedure where adoption is a legal procedure. Once a child is born, their rights are separate from the birth parents. Just because parents are not married is not just cause to remove a child from either parent. Utah has violated parental rights across the board along with many state laws disallowing adoption agencies from Utah in soliciting "birthmothers" in other states. These agencies need to abide state laws in both the PAP states as well as the birthmother's states.

In adoption a birth parent loses his/her rights to their child including the right to decide about the original birth certificate and their child's access to it. I do believe that a birth parent should have access to that document. I believe that they should also have access to their child's new identity.

I am all for adoptive parents who want to be parents because they want to be parents but not at the expense of "birth parents" across the United States. Their need to be parents should not outweigh the need of a child for a family and a home. A child deserves a home and a family. It should start with their birth parents, not foster care, adoption agencies, and the states.

It just irks me that we have so much entitlement to other's children and money. It seems we need to do more to keep families intact even if they are not our definition of them.

One just has to look at many LDS Family Services and other Mormon organizations to see how often this happens.

Another One Lost to Fraud

Amy Adoptee — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 17:51:05 GMT

It never ceases to amaze me how LDS and their entourage of adoption agencies continue to prey on mothers and fathers. I read a website that details what exactly happened to Baby Jack. I heard recently that Larry Jenkins is now involved and has pushed the adoption forward against the wishes of the judge. Now here you have father who supported the mother in every way possible. He went to doctor's appointments, provided financial assistance, and moral support. The mother pulls a fast one and he ends up losing his child. You can read everything possible about Larry Jenkins on Pound Pup Legacy.

You can also see how many cases that this ocean bottom dweller has been involved in. One of the comments left on Baby Jack's website is sympathy for the adoptoraptors.

I feel for you and your loss, but I feel more for the poor adoptive family who are trying nothing more than to give Jack the life he deserves, with a mom AND a dad. I think that they need to be left alone. They obviously know that you want contact, and Jack back, so leave it be. I'm sorry for Jake, but maybe he should be more careful next time.

I left a comment but I don't know if it will be approved at this time. I guess for someone like this that it is okay for someone to kidnap your child. I guess it is also okay for that same someone to use the excuse that your child has been with them since he/she was born. That your child knows no other parent but them. Would you agree to it then? Would you like it if someone told you to just give up and let your son live in peace with their "nonparents?" If adoption is so great, which child are you willing to give up?

Utah sets itself up as the adoption industry hell. It sets itself up as judge and jury of unmarried parents. It sets itself up in a way that only God should be doing. I love how humans judge others so harshly. I can't help but wonder what God will do in the long run. I wonder how he will judge our society and our country. That we have stolen children from fit parents because they were unmarried. That we have stolen the identities from adoptees to protect adoption agencies, states, and even adoptoraptors' insecurities.

Oh I can see you backing up right then. I can hear you saying that the mother has the right to do as she wishes with her child. I can see you using the abortion arguments against the poor father in this case as well as many other cases. A mother has the right to do what she wishes with her body and her children. Uh Uh no she does not. A child is born with the same rights as she does. A child has the right to be with his/her natural parents first. If one parent is unable or unwilling to raise their child, the other parent should be given the option immediately before adoptoraptors are found for a child.

Seeing with the Holiday Spirit

Amy Adoptee — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 16:51:33 GMT

It has been a while since I have done a blog ad. I am grateful to be writing for Zenni Optical. They have a product that I would use in heartbeat. I will probably once I get my financial aid next semester. They cut out the middleman so that you don't have to pay extra. They make their own eyeglass frames. Even though they offer
cheap eyeglasses, they are far from that. They are quality made stylish eyeglasses that fit any budget.

If you like colorful eyeglasses, you might want to check these out. They are colorful and beautiful. If you like expressing your personality in this fashion, then these glasses are the ones for you. I can think of one dear friend who would love these.

Many of their eyeglasses are stylish. I know that it would be hard for me to pick just one pair. I found several that I liked. With money being so tight, it is a wise choice to use this company to take care of all your eyeglass needs. Your children would also love the various styles of eyeglasses so that they can be totally cool. They do not have to be the nerd in their school.

Whenever You Meet A NCM, Remember this.

Amy Adoptee — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 04:58:15 GMT

This is written by a fellow NCM. What is a NCM? It is a noncustodial mother. I am one and not by choice. I still do not know what I did with that horrible judge. Information has been changed to protect the mother in this case.

There's another road that our modern society has created in which the enemy uses to destroy the family and its likely you don't even know about it, at least in detail. Here's something I posted a few months ago on a site:

Let me introduce you to a part of a world that very few people are aware even exists out here. It's a world of impermeable pain, inside and out. It a life that draws immediate judgment from others, even among the least judgmental of us. It happens because this world is broken with sin, evil exists, God has allowed it for His purposes and yes, it does happen to born again believers. Its a break in one of the strongest human bonds God designed, the natural bond between a mom and her children. And, here's the biggie, many times it is undeserved and, if you ask for details and truth, you'll find that she did nothing to deserve her children being taken away.

Most of you know Satan has the family as one of his main targets. If he can break down the family unit, it gives him great inroads. First there came divorce.

Ok, now add in a good mix of anger, money, pride, pain, sin and evil in one of the ex partners who would obviously NOT be a follower of Jesus in a world run amuck and you find an opportunity for Satan to do some real damage. And he does take it when God allows him to. He doesn't allow him to very often but it does happen more often than you think. Because not only is the sin in the ex spouse working overtime but then you throw in the court system with Godless men and women running them (and if I have to explain what's wrong w/ our court system, oh never mind) and you've got the perfect storm of a life of extreme pain, borderline poverty, broken destroyed lives of moms and her children, fractures extended families and a world of people who have no clue what you are talking about when you tell them you don't have custody of your kids. In our modern society the judgments fly, the looks come and no one asks "why" or "what happened". (What is funny is that sometimes you can tell them and they STILL don't believe you). People, by nature, do like to be "right" you know.

Why not take him back to court? Some do and lose anyways. Its a Godless system for the most part remember. Many can't because it takes money and it takes proof that is allowable in court why you should have your children back with you. Why? Why? why? then its back to "If you lost them, You must have done something to deserve it. What kind of mother are you? What did you do?" and the list goes on and on because the judgmental attitudes go on and on and can overtake the most compassionate people among us since we are all sin broken anyways.

Its a world where there is a pain like no other. If a mom loses a child to death, its different, definitely NOT easier, just different. But when your children are still in this world and they "could" be with you and you do get to see them but your time is limited, when you can't hug them good night or when they are crying, when you can't just look down into their eyes and wonder at how you could love another human being this way, when you can't laugh and share their joys on a daily basis, well, this list could go on forever so I wont. If you are a mom and still reading this, you know what I"m talking about.

And, here's some more insight, if a man is capable of taking his children from their mother in the way most of these men do and demanding they pay child support, insurance, travel expenses, etc. you can bet the sin and evil in his heart usually goes on alot further. NCM's get dragged back into court repeatedly, threatened, verbally abused, and, like most unchecked sin and anger, it only grows with time. Sometimes the kids are seen as property and used as such. The kids suffer the most but what amazes me is no one really cares. Regardless of how obvious it is or brazen the abuse gets. As long as its not physical, then its "okay" with the world.

I"m sure you are wondering "how in the world can these women end up in this situation". Sometimes it is through their own sin and issues and they do need to get their life turned around. Then they do get it turned around and the fight ensues. Sometimes they trust the dad to keep the kids for a short time while they get back on their feet either financially or physically from health problems. Most want to jointly raise the children and still maintain some trust in their ex spouse. Once the exes get the hook of child support coming in, many will not give the kids back. If there is verbal abuse involved, then the parental alienation starts to show up because it becomes a kind of competition as they do not want the kids to love the mom. It is insidious at this point. They are afraid of losing them or the money and many see their position of having the kids now as "Winning" so they start brainwashing which includes lying by necessity. Mostly it starts in small ways, but it usually grows over time to the point, all their problems are their mom's fault. There are all sorts of nuances in these situations that you wouldn't know about unless you wanted to or had to know about them.

So that said, and that's plenty, welcome to our world where the heart continually bleeds and is never allowed to heal, where the core of our very nature is shaken, and I pray that you'll take a minute and consider this and learn more. Its only by faith that many of us can hang on and get through this. We would welcome , or at least I would, welcome any questions. I've been doing this for 11 years now and the road is just as rocky if not more so than it was at the beginning. The only way to stop judging others in a situation is to learn and be teachable.

As for me: I have 3 beautiful girls who were stolen (the world looking at the surface of the tapestry without knowledge & truth would say I abandoned my girls but if you turn the tapestry over and get more details, you will find out I was lied to and deceived by their father), I pay hundreds of dollars in child support each month, pay all health insurance, all transportation expenses, get no tax deductions (in case you were wondering) and have been sued 5 or 6 times by ex (I've lost count). And if God does not restore them to me here, then the best thing I can count on is that He'll restore them to me in heaven. Its amazing how joy and pain can co-exist at the same time.

I give God all the glory for all the things He has gotten me through during these hard years. He has taught me so much through this and He provided everything I needed when I needed it. I trust Him to do the right thing because He always will. And I know deep down that He'll work this out for our good and His glory. I love you Lord.

Yep I am from that Era. Proud of It too.

Amy Adoptee — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 06:48:37 GMT

I am not a big fan of remakes. Footloose is one of those situations for me. I loved the original along with Kenny Loggins and his music. He was one of those high energy, jamming kind of fellas that just rocked. Well my precious daughter has fallen in love with the new one. Lord do I see history repeating itself. Judge for yourself. Make sure you got great headphones. It sounds awesome with them. I loved dancing like this back in the day. My poor parents used to scream at me and my sisters because we would rock the house down by dancing up and down the hall of my parents' home. LOLOLOLOL. Sorry my sweet darling Kota. I will always be a fan of Kevin Bacon and the original Footloose. Kevin Bacon could really dance. Yep I am your mother and I am an old fart too. LOLOLOLOL

Here is Blake Shelton's version. Don't get me wrong, Blake. You are a good drink of water even for an older gal such as myself. Honey you just can't cut this type of music. Leave rock and disco to fellas like Chris LeDoux or Garth Brooks.

A example of this is Tom Cochrane's version of Life is a Highway. I loved the original and enjoyed Chris LeDoux's version of it.

Tom Cochrane's version:

Here is Chris LeDoux's version of it:

Here is Rascal Flatt's version: He just doesn't have the passion like the other two have. Music is good but the vocals suck.

Please Listen to This.....

Amy Adoptee — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 18:19:17 GMT

The girls need YOU to hear this......... They need you. I want them to have the relationship that WE didn't have as children with our fathers. Please listen with an open heart because I don't know what to tell you to reach your heart when it comes our girls.

Listen with your heart and soul.